Am I the only one around here who gives a shit about the rules? The Dude: Man, you’re fucking Polish Catholic… Walter Sobchak: What the fuck are you talking about? He believes the culprits might be the very people who, uh, soiled your rug, and you are in a unique position to confirm or disconfirm that suspicion. They call Los Angeles the "City Of Angels." Nothing. If you don't like my fuckin' music get your own fuckin' cab! Your email address will not be published. The Dude: Walter Sobchak: Say what you will about the tenants of national socialism, dude, at least its an ethos. My only hope is that the big Lebowski kills me before the Germans can cut my dick off. Maude Lebowski: Oh, I might have introduced him for all I know. — Jesus Quintana "It's down there somewhere, let me take another look!" Like you, man. The Dude: Yeah, and five f***ing years ago you were divorced. Now, "Dude" - that's a name no one would self-apply where I come from. Fucking Nazis. Bunny Lebowski: [takes off her sunglasses] I'll suck your cock for a thousand dollars. This is bowling. The Dude: Yeah, and five fucking years ago you were divorced. You mean, did you personally come and pee on my rug? The big Lebowski, Bunny Lebowski et le dude. I see you rolled your way into the semis. You fuckin' asshole! “Nobody f*cks with the Jesus.” — The Jesus, 20.) Walter Sobchak: Shut the fuck up, Donny! That or, uh, Duder or His Dudeness or El Duderino, if you're not into the whole brevity thing. Walter Sobchak: Smokey, this is not 'Nam. The Dude: Donny: He peed on the Dude’s rug. Mr. Lebowski, he called himself "The Dude". The Dude: Yeah yeah, I get it. I'm the guy who's gonna kick your phony goldbricking ass, that's who I am! How was your meeting, Mr. Lebowski? The Big Lebowski: Who am I? I'm the Dude. Soundtracks, shouted repeatedly while smashing a car with a crow bar, Maude shows the porn video starring Bunny to the Dude, while dunking the Dude's head in the toilet, the Dude, Walter, and Donny walk out of the bowling alley, to find the three Nihilists waiting in front of the Dude's car, which has been torched, the Nihilists, stunned, confer amongst themselves in German, Stunned, the Germans confer amongst themselves again, They walk out of the bowling alley and see the Dude's car gone. Have you ever heard of Vietnam? You don't wanna know about it, believe me. Jesus Christ! Well, you know, strikes and gutters, ups and downs. There's nothing to be afraid of. Bunny Lebowski: Brandt can't watch, though - or he has to pay a hundred. The Dude: And so, Theodore Donald Karabotsos, in accordance with what we think your dying wishes might well have been, we commit your final mortal remains to the bosom of the Pacific Ocean, which you loved so well. The Dude: Oh, that's Cynthia's dog. Smokey: Walter Sobchak: And was there anything of value in the car? Look, just because we're bereaved, that doesn't make us saps! That kid already spent all the money, man! The toilet seat's up man! [Walter's dog stops barking]. He’s not taking your fucking turn, Dude. You stop being Jewish? Walter Sobchak: I converted when I married Cynthia, Dude. I don't need your fuckin' sympathy, man, I need my fucking johnson! Walter Sobchak: What the f*** are you talking about? Life goes on, man.". The Dude: Jesus, man, could you change the channel? [on the phone] Condolences. Look at it: a young trophy wife, marries this guy for his money, she figures he hasn't given her enough, you know, she owes money all over town. I guess that's the way the whole durned human comedy keeps perpetuatin' itself down through the generations. The Dude: What I'm blathering about - new shit has come to light, man. The Dude: The Dude: Do you find them much, these, stolen cars? But then, there was a lot about the Dude that didn't make a whole lot of sense to me. The Dude: How ya gonna keep 'em down on the farm once they've seen Karl Hungus. YOU'RE GODDAMN RIGHT I'M LIVIN' IN THE FUCKIN' PAST! Her real name is Fawn Knutsen, she ran away from home. We know it's his fucking homework! The Dude: Why are you following me around? The Dude: [the Nihilists, stunned, confer amongst themselves in German]. The Dude: This is a private residence, man! Walter Sobchak: You mean... beyond pacifism? The Dude: V.I. The Dude; Where's my car? The Dude: No you’re not wrong. Walter Sobchak: Forget it, Donny, you’re out of your element! There are rules. Oh, no I did, but I spent most of my time occupying various administration buildings... smoking a lot of thai stick... breaking into the ROTC... and bowling. The Dude: Walter Sobchak: The Dude: I only said I THOUGHT she kidnapped herself. Brandt: Now that we have your attention, get our awesomely funny app from Apple App Store for free. Fuck the tournament... Fuck YOU, Walter! [author Arthur Sellars is lying quietly in his iron lung] Um, I am not "Mr. Lebowski". The Dude: My... my wi-, my wife, Bunny? When you get a divorce you get a new license? The Dude: You don't HAVE the f***ing girl, dipshits! Walter Sobchak: Is this your homework, Larry? The Dude: You figured 'Oh, here's a loser', you know? This is a family restaurant. I had a rough night and I hate the fuckin' Eagles, man! You thought, oh, here's a loser, you know, a deadbeat, someone the square community won't give a shit about... [Five minutes after pulling a gun on Smokey]. Do you hear me, Lebowski? Jesus Quintana: You said it, man. Walter Sobchak: The Dude: You pull any of your crazy shit with us, you flash a piece out on the lanes, I'll take it away from you, stick it up your ass and pull the fucking trigger 'til it goes 'click.'. You're not even fucking Jewish, man. The Dude: He's not taking your fucking turn, Dude. Walter Sobchak: This is a league game, this determines who enters the next round robin. Look, we all know who is at fault here, what the f*** are you talking about? Bunny Lebowski: Obviously, you're not a golfer. I don't know about you, but I take comfort in that. Do I make myself clear? What am I gonna tell Lebowski? Younger Cop: And was there anything of value in the car? I don't fuckin' care! That means that I don't work, I don't get in a car, I don't ride in a car, I don't pick up the phone, I don't turn on the oven, and I sure as shit. Coffee Shop Waitress: The Dude: I'm the one who took your rug. The Dude: Who gives a shit?! Where's the fucking money, you little brat? Walter Sobchak: And after you’re done reading them, be sure to also check out our collection of Scarface quotes and these Talladega Nights quotes on winning. The Dude: Walter, what am I gonna tell Lebowski? Walter, you fuck! [shouted repeatedly while smashing a car with a crow bar]. The Dude: Her Co-Star in The Beaver Picture?